Why do you keep going back to your ex?
Are you wondering WHY you are in this cycle?
Do you break up, and then before you know it you are back together and yet you still aren’t happy?
Today I’m going to share with you some of the reasons why you are getting caught up in this toxic cycle with your ex and how you can break free and begin to heal.
1. You aren’t giving yourself a chance to recover
The biggest gift you can give yourself when it comes to breaking up is the gift of time. This is why NO CONTACT will be your best friend.
Ultimately you must create space and distance between you both and going no contact will do just that. It can be really hard to begin with, especially if, like me, you have a persistent ex!
It’s time to set some strong boundaries and then enforce them. Make sure you check my no contact video to really get the full benefit it so you stand a better chance of healing.
2. Chemical Addiction
Love is a drug they say!
I had never felt ANYTHING like it in my life and it took me by surprise – it felt like I was going cold turkey.
The first time I became aware of the chemical cocktail going round in my body was when my ex came over to visit me from New York (I’m in the UK) and we spent our first week together. It was a week of fun and laughter and connecting and BONDING…
When he left and got his flight back to NYC, I was devastated beyond belief, and I wasn’t prepared. The chemical high had been established and then it went plummeting.
Although I had previously never suffered anxiety, for the first time in my life in the weeks prior to him coming over I was filled with anxiety. THAT was a warning sign! But I put it down to love and excitement, however it was actually my body warning me that something wasn’t right.
When you bond with someone you will have so many chemicals running through your body; oxytocin, adrenalin, cortisol, dopamine…
This is one of the things that keeps you trapped and unable to leave. It’s not your fault, it’s your body craving it’s next fix.
The good news is that over time these biochemical bonds will lessen, and having an awareness of what’s going on in your body can help you make sense of it all
If you more help in healing your heart and breakup recovery download my FREE guide. I’ve packed it with everything I’ve used to get over my toxic relationship and heal my heart.
3. Trauma Bonding
I was stuck in exactly this cycle for MONTHS. It took me 8 attempts and 4 months to finally break free from my ex. It wasn’t helped that I was involved with a covert narcissist, so that by the time I left, I was totally trauma bonded to this man.
If you want to know more about subtle and not so subtle signs that your relationship is toxic and no good for you, subscribe and the notification bell on my youtube channel because in my next video I’ll be telling you about the warning signs of a toxic relationship.
So what is a trauma bond?
Basically a trauma bond happens when you are in a relationship with a toxic person. There may be a cycle where you get upset, you recover, you get upset, you recover – and over time the bond becomes stronger and stronger. I could NOT figure out why I couldn’t leave my ex – until I started doing some research myself.
If you have been in a relationship that has been a roller coaster, and unstable, you could well be trauma bonded. When you wake up to this fact, it explains a lot. Knowledge is power and you can look at getting out and KEEPING OUT THIS TIME.
If you want more help about healing after heartbreak and creating a life you fall in love with you can work with me 1:1 through my private consultations. You can find out my range of services here.
Believe more is possible,