Does something not feel right in your relationship?
Are you operating in fight or flight mode but you can’t put your finger on why?
I know how you feel! This is something I went through in my last relationship.
Let’s dive into todays video and examine what’s going on and what you can do about it!
Sometimes it’s obvious that something is wrong and you can clearly see the reason for your feelings of anxiety. For example, if someone treats you badly, verbally or physical abuse and then you have a CLEAR sign to walk the hell away.
BUT what if you can’t place your finger on it?
What if it’s a feeling that won’t go away?
What if you are feeling anxiety and going into fight or flight mode?
1. Fight or flight
What happens to your body when you are in fight or flight?
Basically your adrenaline dysregulated.
Your nervous systems becomes activated by the quick release of hormones. This can then trigger an increase in your heart rate and your blood pressure.
Fight or flight is meant to alert you to an immediate potential threat. It’s not something to live with every day. It can be too great a strain on the body. The good news is that nothing has to stay the same and you can make the changes that you need to
2. High Alert
Some of the signs that you may be operating on high alert without even realising it.
Physical Reaction. Your body knows that something is wrong. Perhaps you have developed unhealthy habits. Maybe you are ill more often than usual. Perhaps your hair is getting thinner. Look out for the signs to get an idea of how your body is responding.
Emotional Reaction. Are you less in control of your emotions? Are you reactions to life’s event more pronounced than normal? Are you having trouble hold it together?
Feels of anxiety. If you aren’t normally a person who experiences anxiety but now you have it every day, then this is a warning sign too. That’s what happened to me. I didn’t have anxiety for the whole of my life until I met my ex.
Unable to speak freely. Do you feel that you have to hold back from speaking up or speaking your truth? Do you feel that your voice is being suppressed in some way?
Are you turning to food, drink or drug to cope?
Are you neglecting your needs? Your self care and self love? Is your routine out of whack?
There are all warning signs. You only have to have one warning sign for it to be enough.
For me, I was dealing with a master liar who hid the truth from everyone in his life, including me. However, he conducted himself in a way that he was completely open and honest. This was aided by the fact that he ran a spiritual shop, so he was able to hide his true nature behind that.
However, 6 weeks in and I had NO idea he was married or even had a girlfriend When I did find out I asked why he didn’t tell me. He said I didn’t ASK!
What he was did was shift the responsibility onto me for something he should have been truthful with at the very beginning. I didn’t realise until months later that I was dealing with a covert narcissist.
However, at the time, he quickly assured me he has broken up with his girlfriend and that he was separated for his wife for 10 years and that if it was an issue with me (IT WAS), that he would get divorced.
He then proceeded to delay, make excuses and ultimately gave false hope and false promises.
Starting 1st October – BREAK FREE FROM TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS!
Everything is energy
A normal, healthy relationship feels GOOD.
If something feels off do NOT ignore that feeling.
Everything is energy. We are all connected. You know when you meet someone new and something doesn’t feel right? You don’t click, and you move on.
But if something doesn’t feel right in your relationship to the degree that it’s causing fight or flight, anxiety, adrenaline rushes – then it’s time to listen and trust the messages that your body is giving you.
I brushed it off.
I thought it was the distance – he was in NYC and I’m in the UK
I thought it was love – but there’s a difference between butterflies and that jangling anxious energy!
You have a right to proceed through life without fear and without feeling like this.
Life doesn’t have to feel this way and I’m here to remind you that whilst you are in this situation NOW, it doesn’t have to be that way.
We always, ALWAYS have choices. We always have a new decision to make. You might not see your way out of this, or how you will gather the strength to walk away from someone you are potentially trauma bonded to.
The fact that you are searching for answers indicates that something isn’t right. Trust yourself
✅ FREE HEART BREAK RECOVERY GUIDE. Download here.
What you can do about it
You can stay and live with it – but at what cost to your life?
Your peace of mind?
You can stick around, keep scratching around for answers and digger deeper and getting nowhere.
The short answer, and it one that you may not want to hear, is to remove yourself from the source that’s making you feel this way.
This is your precious life.
If you didn’t feel this way before you met him, and now you are feeling this way, that’s your sign.
You are having a natural reaction to something that isn’t right. Potentially with SOMEONE who isn’t right for you.
This is your body’s way of telling you that this person isn’t right for you.
It could potentially make you ill.
If you have tried to break free before and you find yourself returning again and again then make sure you watch my video called WHY DO I KEEP GOING BACK TO MY EX?
If you are dealing with a covert narcissist they have a tendency to NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE. I couldn’t understand why I would break up with my boyfriend and then he would be in touch within hours, or even the next day. I didn’t realise I was dealing with a covert narcissist. Look, ultimately, if you are serious about your future, your mental health, and physically and spiritual health this isn’t an area to take take lightly.
I made the hard choice of breaking up for my sanity. I could feel the toll it was taking on my health and it wasn’t good.
It was heartbreaking but because I let things linger, trying to figure everything out, I was became traumatised, and consequently, trauma-bonded to him.
If you want more help in healing from heartbreak and creating a life you fall in love with then you can book private 1:1 coaching with me to help you get through to the other side. It’s important to have someone be strong for you during this period.