This time 2 years ago I didn’t care if I lived or died.
I remember driving along the motor-way and thinking, ‘Well, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I was in a crash right now and it all went up in flames’. I just felt, y’know, meh, about it. Indifferent.
Numb.
My dreams and goals seemed so big and far away and impossible. The overwhelm of frustration made me momentarily blind to my personal power.
I thought I had been beaten.
I blamed the world. Society. My friends. My family. My ancestors. Everyone and everything. Except myself. I was surely just a victim of my circumstances! What else could I do? It wasn’t MY fault.
Summer is meant to be bright and fun and full of energy, but instead I just saw darkness and I thought I would never see the light again.
I withdrew. I created a little cave and in I went.
Was this it? Was it time to give up? Was it time to put the previous 7 years of entrepreneurship, and all that work, blood, sweat, tears, highs, lows, adventures behind me?
Did I just not have it in me to keep going down my own path?
And what was that path anyway?
What did I want to do?
And I went through some of the motions of work and doing business. The bare minimum. I taught what I knew but it wasn’t enough.
Where was the passion? Where was the spark?
I was searching for something but I couldn’t quite grasp it.
And then one day I woke up. It was MY FAULT. It was all my fault. If I wasn’t were I wanted to be it wasn’t because of my circumstances, or society, or friends or family or ANY of that stuff. It was because of ME!
The moment I took full responsibility for myself and my situation, things changed. I changed back into ME again. The real me. The gung-ho, positive, usually happy me. The me I love.
I turned it all around.
We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for our supposed failures, for our lack, for our circumstances because HELLO weren’t you there? Weren’t you a participant?!
During the last two years I’ve learnt more about myself, my capabilities, what I can withstand and what I will do to have the life that I want, on my terms and now I help others to do the same and create a life of FREEDOM.
I think that’s why I fell into that dark place; because I wasn’t making the difference that I wanted. I wasn’t affecting and helping people in the way I know I can. I was teaching, but not leading, and now I am. The dreams and goals and ambitions that seemed so far away now feel possible and are actually happening.
Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on your dreams and goals and ambitions. Take full responsibility, it’s SO empowering. Never give in. Things will change when YOU decide to change. You can do this!
Karen x
ABOUT Karen Strunks is a speaker and author and helps daring, rebellious, non-conforming women create a No Compromise life and business doing exactly what they love.
